Fecund! What a great word! I have just discovered this synonym looking up the dictionary definition of ‘productive’.

Reason being, I have noticed recently that I regularly answer the question of “have you had a good day?” with a satisfied; “oh yes, it has been very productive”.

When did I start answering that question like that!?

I am absolutely certain that as a younger, fresher and more energetic version of myself, when asked this question, I answered it along the lines of “Yes, it HAS been good, because I saw [my friends/my family]” or “Yes, I did [something fun]” or probably as I became more of a teenager, a less descriptive and less engaged “I suppose…..”.

Somehow, over time, my evaluation of the day has become more of a correlation with what I have managed to achieve in a relative amount of time. This counts whether I have been at work, mummying, or trying to keep our habitat in some kind of order.  

Working in finance for around 20 years may have been the start of my connection between productivity and pride. I have worked in a number of roles where an appraisal of your work, and associated worth to the company would be largely based on your ‘productivity’, measured against set company criteria. And that makes sense, in an environment where financial growth and profit is the key focus.

At one of the last appraisals before my departure from the insurance industry, I stopped to contemplate what I wanted my mandatory self-evaluation to reflect. I decided this year that what was actually more important to me in terms of success had been my interactions with my colleagues and whether I had made the place a better place to work for others.

So, I wrote about that and presented it to my boss. Soon after, I handed in my notice.

On reflection, part of the reason I chose to leave was that I realised I wanted my worth to be based on more of who I was in this world and not just on what I did. It was NOT a reason that I didn’t want to work or be productive, far from it, but I think where I was working was not encouraging productivity in a way that I could personally relate to any more.

In order to be fully productive, I think we need to factor in time for rest and reflection – this encourages healthy creativity and future growth. Nature knows this, it lets go in Autumn in order to nourish itself to produce more in Spring. There is a season for everything (Ecclesiastes).

The Encyclopaedia Britannica provides a helpful description of ‘productive; ‘working hard and getting good results.’

I was working hard but were the results ‘good’ from a personal perspective? Not for my mental health; not for my creativity; not for my confidence.

So, I am taking a new route, wherever it takes me. I am a reflective person and I am sure that after a year, I will do a self-evaluation as always. But this time, it will be; have I been available for people; have my actions been rooted in love?; am I using the gifts I have been given?; have I been fecund??

If I can answer in the affirmative, I am getting the good results I was looking for.